Confessions of a Facebook Introvert

The Simpsons Facebook ParodyIf you’re reading this, you probably got linked here from my Facebook. I’ve seen you in my periphery, on the sidebar with all my other friends. Chances are, we haven’t seen each other in a long time. Alternatively, you’ve met me once in your life, very briefly, and decided to add me to your social media alongside thousands of other nobodies. Our relationship has faded into obscurity, now just small bits of internet detritus hovering on the outskirts of our memory.

I’m not surprised. After all, I don’t say happy birthday to you on Facebook. I don’t invite you to events. I don’t share viral videos. I don’t like your selfies. I don’t comment on your posts.

And I never will.

Don’t take it personally. I just find social media largely unproductive. It is a negative feedback loop, consisting of a series of forced interactions that grow into addictive habits. Let’s say, for example, that you were friends with thousands of people, with birthdays every single day of the year. Are you really going to wish someone a happy birthday as part of a daily routine? Moreover, are you really going to respond to the same thousands of people when they comment on your profile, wishing you a happy birthday?

It’s like going to a surprise party… that you were invited to.

(I guess that makes me the Tattletale Strangler.)

But Big Time, you might argue, I’m not friends with everyone, I only have a small group of people that I’m incredibly close to. Everyone else is just background noise, a circle of acquaintances I’ve met over the course of my life. Then why communicate through social media at all? Give your friends a call. Spend some time together. Do something special. You only stand to mar the importance of your friendships by giving them the same social media treatment as everyone else.

This all probably sounds like an accusation, like I’ve got a bone to pick with the social-media-savvy. And frankly, I’m not making a very convincing argument. I just started this blog, a blog about my personal interests, and I intend to expand it into other social media sites to take advantage of a bigger audience.

(Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe~)

Think of this as a response to the people I’ve met who complain about boredom, lethargy, and loneliness. I understand how you feel; as people get older, relationships become harder to maintain. Sometimes, it seems easier to just give up and reject the warmth and safety of those around you. But the last thing you need is another impulsive habit, a distraction to get you through the day.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that social media opposes love. The internet is a fascinating place, an ecosystem capable of generating hype, sorrow, laughter and hatred. Among all the emotions, we get caught up in our own egos. We create attractive profiles, ones that highlight our best qualities, and we forget about the insecurities that make us human. And what we end up trading between one another is a series of superficial characters.

There’s no love in social media. It is attraction without any passion. Foreplay without climax.

I hope that in some form, this blog will serve as a reminder that I have faith in all of you. Not just as readers or movie-goers, but as people. I believe in all of you to embrace love: love culture, love ideas, and love other people. Life is too short and absurd for negativity. And if that isn’t reason enough, just remember that I will always love you, no matter who you are.

Platonically, of course.

I Love You


Either the most honest movie critic in the universe, or the least intelligent philosopher.

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Posted in Big Time Philosophy

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